I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
