Jerry, you need to find god
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
