can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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