True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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