how do flat chested girls get laid?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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