North Korea, Best Korea!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is classic penis vs brain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
