Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
