I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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