how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize