Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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