saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
