I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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