Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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