Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
