Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
