just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
