Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
