Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
