Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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