who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
