I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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