Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
