My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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