I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
