Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
