Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if only i could text you this smell
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
