he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
