May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
