Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
