She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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