I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
