Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
