I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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