My sheets look like a crime scene.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
