HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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