Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
