Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
