just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
