My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
