i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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