Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
