why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
