once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
