nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize