You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
