I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
they need to just BURY HIM!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
