Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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