I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
