You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
