plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
