walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
