Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
