you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
