No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just pynch a tree in the face
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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