Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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