sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
