haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
